The Great Canadian Middle-Age Rant

For lack of anything better to do (insert sarcastic smirk) I've returned to blogging. Probably because I don't expect to generate a lot of readership I can use this blog to as a sort of techno-diary to post my acquired angst. Be warned: I'm no Carrie Bradshaw or Bridget Jones but I have had enough misadventures to make a lot of bad movies from good books. And speaking of movies - here is a quote from one I love to hate - "...these are a few of my favourite things...." (yes, I'm Canadian so I stuck a 'u' in the second trimester of a word)

Menopause - I hate it and it hates me. It's a mutual hate, like my first two marriages. Like my first husband, Menopause is a body batterer - it doesn't care where I am or what I am doing - WHAM! I start raining down sweat. Real handy when you go to a job interview and you're trying to make a good first impression. My potential employer sees nothing but a clean-up in aisle 7. The whole alien-taking-over-my-body thing happened faster than you can say 'Segourny Weaver'. My mind stumbled into a black hole, every body part between my knees and shoulders expanded and my skin looks like the aftermath of adolescence meets chocolate. Nuff said. On to ex-hubby no. two - a now nearly 60 year-old man who still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. Selfish, unmotivated and indecisive - that's the emotional toll of menopause - guilty because it's all about me and guilty because it's not. For those of you who have not yet entered this first ring of purgatory all I can say is - you'll all be there - someday! For those of you already here - I've brought my own martini glass and it's five o'clock somewhere. For those of you already over and done with it....STOP LAUGHING.

Fat - see Menopause above. Yes, it's self-inflicted and yes, I got here one bite at a time. However...I've been told if I give up the HRT's then Meno ex's one and two will take over with a vengeance. But I've also been told that I will most probably drop the extra 40 pounds I've put on. Let's see...death by hanging or death by firing squad...???

My Third Husband - he's the source of a lot of my angst but he loves me. You really have to weigh what's most important to you in your life, especially when you hit 50. He works for the government. That's all I can say about him here. I could tell you more but then I'd have to...well, you know how the rest of that story goes. We're happy. That's all that matters at the end of the day.

On Being Unemployed - yes, I went back to school. Yes, I graduated with honours (there's that 'u' happening again) and kicked butt. Out of school three weeks and so far, nada. I feel like I've been dropped into the eye of a hurricane. Job Hunting blows! Interviews blow! Sending out endless resumes to people who don't give you the courtesy of a reply blows! Staying optimistic blows. Running out of money blows! I have no illusions about lottery winning. I've never been a lucky sort of person that way. I do, however, still have my sense of humour ('u'!). I believe in karma. I know the right job is out there somewhere. Hopefully it won't take me as long to find it as I've spent on finding marital happiness. I just don't have that kind of energy, courtesy of Meno-ex No. 1.

And now a closing line from my fav novel "GWTW" (Gone With The Wind for all you laypersons out there - yes, anyone who knows me knows I'm a rabid 'Windy')...

..."tomorrow is another day"...

Until then...